Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Potty Training Help!!!

No picture this time, but I sure do need some advice! Derek turns 3 in September, just two short months away, and he has yet to use the toilet. Every once in awhile he "accidentally" goes, such as before a bath, but not consistently. So, yesterday, we decided it was time to begin (after weeks of discussing it with him). I bought several new pairs of training pants and plastic pants and came home armed with two cushy toilet seats for the big toilets and M&Ms and AirHeads for rewards. After toilet training 5 children, you'd think I'd have a little idea of how to do this, but NOTHING seems to be working. He has not successfully gone even one time on the toilet. We finally took the training pants off, put one of the boys' shirts on him so he's "covered" and have let him run around "in the buff" so to speak. Still nothing. I'm beginning to get very frustrated at this little guy. :)

I read somewhere that children who begin talking late will also potty train late. Has anyone actually found that to be a true statement? Derek has only been talking for about 3 1/2 months or so. (if that)

Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.



  1. I would not claim to be an expert in this area myself, but I did receive some great advice on this years ago. Joyce Nymeyer told me, "Don't make an issue of it. They will train when they are ready. Start the day and show them underwear or a diaper...and ask them if they want to wear 'big boy pants' or the diaper...then just try what they choose. If it is the big boy pants, and they have continuous accidents during the day, just put them away quietly, and put a diaper on...don't make an issue of it" That is what she told me. I have done it with all of my boys. I do have a late talker as well...Nathan just started talking right before he turned 4. He was trained around the age of 3. I don't know if there is a connection or not though. Doing what Mrs Nymeyer advised me to do, saved me a lot of frustration, and my children. It may seem like allowing them to have their way, but if they don't want to do it, (whether it's because they are busy playing or disinterested) well...they're just not going to do it. I hope this helps some.

  2. Don't make a big issue of it. The long T-shirt and letting him go like that is what I did with 2 of my boys and they were going potty within a month on the toilet. Rewarding them when they go is good, it gets them realizing it's good to potty in the toilet. One of the things we also did, if they made mess from being in the buff he had to help clean it up. I never spanked for have an accident. I don't know if this helps but it worked for 2 of my 4 boys.

    I had one that wouldn't potty train cause he was afraid of the toilet. It doesn't sound like you have that problem though.

    As for the talking late and potty training late it could be true. I've not heard of it so I don't know.

  3. I personally think potty-training is like teaching them to read. You can spend hours drilling them and become frustrated yourself (and they probably will eventually get it) or you can just wait until they are ready and get the job done in a fraction of the time. I only had one that didn't train until after he was three and he has a natural disposition to avoid anything that seems like work. Give him time. Few children start kindergarten in diapers. ;)

  4. I have trained four boys so far...and to be real honest, there was not much success until they were right at age three or a few months later. My daughter trained earlier than that, but not my boys. I always tried, but not to the point of frustration. I just put it all away and came back to it later. No one reached age 3 years and 6 months still in diapers.

    I would just try again a little bit later down the road. But that is just me.

    One other thought...I do use rewards like M&M's, but I had one child that loved saving money. This child was very motivated to get a coin each time he went. I would just give him a penny or whatever coin I had. At this age amounts didn't mean much. Every 2 days, we would let him pick a dollar store treasure we had brought home and he "paid" us for it. He was my fastest to train. Sometimes it is a matter of finding the perfect motivation for that particular child.

    I prayed for you today.

  5. There are several different schools of thought on the potty training "market" right now. In one of the main ones, you can train your child to go out of habit by placing them on the potty every 20 minutes for one day, every 30 minutes the next day, every 40 minutes on day three, every 50 minutes on day 4, and every hour from day 5 on. In theory it teaches them to remember to go, but not necessarily what it feels like to need to go. I worked in a daycare that used this system with some success, but late bloomers still had more accidents. The other main system is much like the other ladies have mentioned, just waiting to see signs that they are ready. It is becoming more acceptable in the education market for 3 & 4 year olds to be known as "not ready" as opposed to stubborn or some other negative thing. It seems with Derek, you should not be in any rush or put an stress on him, he simply likes to take his time. He has older siblings and he will figure out that it is easier to just go on the potty than to have to wait for someone to change his wet or dirty behind.
    I knew all of the dirty work from nannying and working in daycares would come in handy someday!
    Good Luck. (and congrats, by the way, when can we expect this next cousin?)

  6. That's interesting about the late talker idea. My 4 girls all trained very near 2, the boys nearer to 3, and Courtney (5th girl) is 2-1/2 and still not quite there yet...neither does she say much. That's part of the problem. She will go consistantly when we put her on, but is just now starting to tell us she needs to go. Ironically, she is really just starting to talk well. You'd think with so many siblings to talk to, she'd be a linguist, but she just grunts or gestures and all of her "subjects" jump to her bidding! :) Not quite that bad. She doesn't do it all herself yet either, in that she needs help getting on and off her chair w/o getting her dress dropped in, needs help pulling up her panties, etc. And to me, they're not really trained until they do it all by themsleves. So we wait and don't stress. Clothes wash, carpets wash,, etc. You've gotten several similar thoughts here...let him take his time. What does Chad say? Wish Mom were here. Seems like Chad trained a bit late. He was fearful, if I recall. I too prayed for you and this issue tonight.

  7. With our boy we used pull ups as big boy pants. That was an incentive to him to go on the toilet, yet if he had an accident we just tossed the pull ups. That seemed to get him started, but it is hard with boys no matter what. I think they feel they may fall in and get flushed.


  8. I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.




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