Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Racing Fun

Derek used to play with balls. For hours at a time he would throw balls back and forth across the living room -- with someone else, all alone, whatever. It didn't matter. He just wanted to throw balls. Now, however, he's into trucks. Trucks of all sizes. He is constantly pushing them around the house. Our house is like a big circle on the main floor: the front "foyer" (it's not really that big, but I don't know what else to call it) leads into the living room, which leads into the dining room, which leads into the kitchen, which leads to the hallway, which takes you straight to the front door, which leads to the....you get the idea. Since this is his new hobby, I thought I would get a few shots of him and his cohorts. ;)

Lauren getting in on it.

Daddy stopped home to grab something and took a few quick trips around the circle with Derek. Da-d-ee, Race. 'Ruck. :)

Derek's look says, "Isn't my dad just the best? He raced trucks with me!"

I've had so many random thoughts going through my head lately as I try to think and meditate on my word for the year, Patience. I must admit that I'm still struggling so much with it. I think there are a couple of reasons for this struggle. First, there is a physical reason. I have a systemic yeast problem, and I love sugar and have been eating quite a bit of it lately. I have to cut it completely out, and this is really hard when you're married to a man who loves sugar as well. But...I must do this for the sake of my family. It's amazing how much more patience I have when I haven't had any sugar for a few days. And how much more energy I have. And how easy life seems....

Second, there is a spiritual reason. I'm not sure if my thought process is completely finished or logical, but try to stay with me. When I was growing up, I was an only child. Not much stood in the way of me getting what I wanted. Pretty much all the time. I also experienced what I felt to be a good deal of success. I got straight A's in school, did well at piano playing, sang in choirs and groups (our girl's group won the state competition our senior year), did well at playing the flute, did oodles of baby sitting, saw many souls saved, etc. When I went away to college, I slipped a little, and then got right back up. I went for years without eating sugar of any kind, kept myself from getting angry for several years.... I could go on, but my point is this, if you're still with me:

I did all of those things. Even though they were good things, I myself did them. I never prayed about any of it. I never asked God to help me with those things. I never leaned on Him. I was fully capable all by myself of doing anything and everything that I needed to do. And all the while, unbeknownst to me, my flesh was growing stronger every day. There is something to "pulling yourself up by your boot straps" so to speak, but then there is an entirely different concept of leaning on God and allowing Him to do a great work within you.

For years my focus has been on me doing what I need to do. Me changing what needs to be changed. Now it's time for me to stop trying to do things by myself and allow God to do His work within me. Having children and being married has shown me one thing: My flesh is strong. Paul said, "I die daily." So easy to say, yet so hard to do. I think this year will be one of great revelations, insights, and, hopefully, growth, not just in the area of patience but in every other area as well.


  1. Hi, I just clicked over from the Lockwood blog to say hi to a fellow reader. I see you have given up sugar before - I have as well. One tip that really helped me was to pick a day to quit that's a week or so out. Plan to quit on that day and think about it every day. It's much easier to quit when it arrives, that way (was for me, anyway).

    I am a little perplexed by your statement about your many successes achieved without leaning on God - at first I thought you were saying that God had no hand in those. Now I'm not sure, but I'm thinking you may enjoy meditative prayer re-remembering all of those successes and recognizing God's hand there at the time? That may make it easier to see how to lean on God now. Like in the Footprints saying, it's recognizing that God walked with you always.

    Nice meeting you!

  2. I'm not sure who I'm speaking to here, but thank you for the sugar advice. I think I'll take it!

    As far as leaning on God, I do know that He was there helping me, I was just trying to say that I wasn't depending on Him, leaning on Him, looking to Him for the strength to do what needed to be done. Now that I have so many littles and a busy husband, I find that I need Him so much more. I can no longer "fake" it, if you will.

    Again, thank you for your comment! :)


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